005

Currently:
-Reading: Moloka'i by Alan Brennert
-Listening: Spinning World by Gunnar Madsen
-Watching: Avatar: The Last Airbender

Today I saw a new doctor for my Cystic Fibrosis. I like him a lot; he has a great bedside manner. I've been to a myriad of doctors throughout my life, and not all of them have really clicked. And it's important that I get along well with my CF doctor, as he will be the most important doctor in my life.

The appointment took three hours! It was insane. But we talked about lots of things: obviously my lungs and day-to-day life with CF, but also fertility and sex, diet and weight, and other things that go along with CF.

He and a nutritionist help set up a plan for me for diet and exercise. It's nothing stenuous, just walking thirty minutes every morning. The nutritionist OK'd me to go ahead with my vegetarian diet which made me really happy. I see him again in a month, and I'm really excited to see where my weight loss progress is then. I'm not really hoping for/expecting more than five pounds, but it will be great to have any amount of weight off since I've struggled for so long with gaining, gaining, gaining. And if I haven't lost any weight, I know he's serious about helping me figure out if there's any underlying issues.

Life has been kind of stressful for me lately. Most aspects of my life are really happy or content, and I've been feeling happier and more positive than I have in an incredibly long time. However, my mother and I have had a lot of issues lately. She keeps trying to control me and is almost stalker levels of obsessive. We had to have a very long talk about why her behavior has been inappropriate (she threatened to drive four hours just because I didn't text her back!) and I hope she's finally starting to get it. I want her to, because I don't want to cut her out of my life, but I'm very wary and unable to trust that she can make the changes I need her to make so we can continue our relationship. It's also painful because no matter how much I try to get through to her that she's mentally ill and needs help, she refuses to hear it and takes it as an insult instead.

No matter what, I feel happy that more and more I'm becoming in control of my life: health, weight loss, and relationships. It's wonderful to finally assert yourself and grab the reins for yourself.

004

I am going vegetarian! Oh boy!

It's really because I'm experiencing some health issues that would be lessened if I ate a healthier and high fiber diet. As I looked over what I can eat, it became obvious that the best choice was to go vegetarian!

So far I'm reading about what I should be eating, what sort of supplements I should take, and what sort of side effects I might have. I'm not looking forward to bloating...but I hope it goes away fairly fast!

Mostly to start out I'll just be making large amounts of soups and vegetable curries to get me going. I'll be eating fresh fruits for breakfast and snacks.

I suppose my new diet will be a combination of vegan and vegetarian. While I'm not doing this for ethical reason and am not looking to intentionally eat vegan, I imagine a lot of what I will be eating WILL be vegan. I'm also going to eat gluten-free (because Celiac's runs in my family and most vegetarian options are gluten-free anyways) and low-dairy. As it is, I already drink almond milk and don't eat much dairy. Most of this will just happen naturally. I'm also cutting back on my alcohol intake a LOT.

I'm really excited though!